This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking.

I don’t know if you’re aware, but the Nintendo Switch is about a week away from hitting the stores. It is a very exciting time, but to be honest, it’s also a somewhat confusing one. How, you ask? For starters, I’d like you to look at the ridiculously long title of this column. I’ll repeat it for you: “This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking.”

Here we are, a week out from the launch of the Switch, and the above statement is all we really, truly know about it. We don’t know about how the Switch’s online ecosystem is going to be set up, we don’t really know how the Switch is going to interact with the new Nintendo Account system, we haven’t heard anything at all about the Virtual Console… let’s face it, we don’t know anything about this console outside of, “This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking.”

By now, of course, it should be obvious: that was the entire point.

Let’s take, for example, the Nintendo Switch promotional tour, the one that launched in New York City (you remember; I was there and wrote stuff real good about it.) That tour was one hundred percent about the games that are coming out for the Nintendo Switch, and how great they are and how much fun they are. During the three hour showcase there were no speeches, no presentations, no information booths… just station after station of Switches playing demos of games, and Nintendo Brand Ambassadors reinforcing to the attendees that, “This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking.” Not a single thing was whispered about any of the other stuff that, admittedly, people expect to hear about modern gaming consoles: online spaces, integrated media experiences, etc., etc. Truthfully, it was only a slip of the tongue that led a Brand Ambassador to reveal to me that Splatoon 2 would feature a spectator mode, a detail that is only relevant in the world of competitive online gaming.

(Thought and prayers to that ambassador’s family. I’m assuming Nintendo had him “taken care of.” He’ll be missed.)

Part of the reason Wii U failed is because Nintendo muddied up the console’s launch message, first of all by naming it after their previous console (to this day people think the GamePad is just an accessory for the Wii) and then by talking about how the Wii U was going to “revolutionize” your relationship with the TV… at a time when people were beginning to abandon their TVs, en masse. Nobody cared, nor should they have. That was not Nintendo at their best, something that was clear from the word “go”, and the Wii U never recovered from it.

The early Switch talk from Nintendo has been: “This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking,” and that’s it. Nothing else. And you know what? It’s working. They’ve sold out of preorders and the mainstream buzz is all good; hell, even Jimmy Fallon freaked out about Zelda on national TV. (To be fair, Jimmy Fallon freaks out about everything.) They’ve done this by telling us nothing but, “This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking.”

Face it: the last market Nintendo is going to win over is the hardcore PS4/XBox market, i.e. the people who really care about the deep functionality of their consoles. The majority of the people Nintendo is going to try and sell a Switch to look at gaming consoles as things on which you play video games. So when the marketing is nothing but, “This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking,” those people are all right with that. Those who follow the gaming industry on a day-to-day may complain about not knowing all the other details about the Switch, even just seven short days out from launch, but by now it should be clear: not telling us the other details was Nintendo’s ENTIRE launch strategy. They wanted nothing to get in the way of, “This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking.”

Nintendo has always been at their best when they are focusing on making great games first and putting all the other stuff second. With the Switch, the other stuff isn’t even second. The other stuff is buried under the mantra coming non-stop out of Kyoto and being broadcast across the world, say it with me: “This is the Nintendo Switch. You can play video games on it. You can hook it up to your TV, or you can take it with you anywhere you go. Did we mention you can play video games on it? Also, it has Zelda and cow milking.”

You had me at Zelda, Nintendo. You had me at Zelda.

Featured image by Wolf-64, posted on DeviantArt.net.

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